"So I limp in with Cowboys Under The Gun and the LAG in mid position makes it 500 to go. Folded round to the Button who bumps it up to 1500. We lose the blinds and I move in over the top of both of them..."

                                                                                          "...huh?"

After an enjoyable evening of poker I always make a point of boring She Who Must Be Obeyed silly with the minutiae of every hand I've played, every great call I've made, every inspired laydown, every bad beat, and to her credit she nods and smiles and makes sympathetic noises every time I pause for breath, but as anyone who plays the game knows, poker has a language that is all its own. It's like verbal shorthand, and for anyone who doesn't play the game we might as well be speaking Urdu. Or Swahili.

To those who have been around poker for a while, the intricate language of poker is pretty much second nature. For those who haven't, learning that language isn't  exactly a walk in the park, and as (at least at this writing) Linguaphone haven't yet jumped on the bandwagon, this section of the website is for the benefit of The Wife and any other poker widows out there who habitually adopt the same blank expressions when their spouses trundle home at some ungodly hour of the morning and lie in bed spouting complete and utter bollocks. Housewives of the World, prepare to understand the gibberish (and try and look interested dammit!) - these pages are just for you...

 But mainly they're for the Wife. As is the brooding piccy of Mister Affleck.

                         - "Behold the power of the Beer Hand!" -